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The
Three University teachers were simply relishing each other’s company at the
Staff Club. It had not only been a busy day for all of them, but a hot one. So,
what better than a few chilled bottles of their favorite beers and stouts to exorcise the memories of the day’s labors?
Professor
Aletor was a nationally renowned Philosopher, as was his younger colleague
and buddy, Dr. Douglas, who was also
a widely-read columnist in two of the country’s biggest newspapers. Professor Michaels, on his part, was
one of the country’s foremost musicologists and the Dean of the Faculty of
Arts.
Aside
from their flourishing careers and first-rate intellects, one other thing the
three had in common was their irreligiousness.
They did not believe in God and held such beliefs to be baseless.
So,
an hour and six bottles into their relaxation, their discourse veered off in a
religious direction.
Prof. Michaels:
Did you hear about the girl who was rescued from the rubble of that garment
factory in Bangladesh after seventeen days?
Prof. Aletor:
Many consider it an act of God
Dr. Douglas:
So the one thousand one hundred and twenty seven people or thereabout who died
was whose act?
Prof. Aletor:
Christians will say the devil
Prof. Michaels:
Moslems will say it was Allah’s will
Dr. Douglas:
And I will say its all nonsense!
Prof. Michaels:
But, Douglas, what if we one day discover we were wrong, and there indeed is a
God?
Prof. Aletor:
Which God would we have discovered? Is it the Christian God, the Moslem God, the
Jewish God, the African gods, the Hindu g--
Dr. Douglas:
(cutting in) Goddamit! (downs his glass and slams it on the table) Anyway, Prof. Michaels, in the spirit of these
bottles, I’ll indulge such hypothetical folly and imagine…if I ever see God and
He accuses me of not believing in Him or in Jesus, or any such nonsense, I’ll
first ask Him why He gave me a mind and a brain.
Prof. Michaels:
I see, because nobody with a sound mind can honestly believe in a God who has
refused to clearly reveal and introduce Himself but has instead permitted the
conflicting plethora of gods and religions…
Prof. Aletor:
As for me, I’ll first ask God how He was able to make this entire universe in
seven days when I have been trying to make just one baby in seven years!
(loud laughter).
Prof. Michaels:
I’ll ask Him why He let my first wife, who by the way was very religious, die
six years ago of cancer after over ten years of prayers and supplications, not
to mention millions in hospital bills, leaving me with three motherless kids- I’ll
ask Him!
Dr. Douglas:
Of course I’ll also ask Him about all the anthropological findings and
scientific discoveries that point to the fact that man was not created, but
evolved…
Prof. Aletor:
I’ll ask Him why it was okay for Abraham to marry wives and have concubines,
and its not okay for me to enjoy the female perquisites of my job, when it is
mutually desired?
(some more
laughter)
Prof. Michaels:
I’ll ask Him why most of His so-called apostles, pastors, and prophets are so
greedy…
Dr. Douglas: So
arrogant and abysmally mannerless…
Prof. Aletor:
So liable to sycophancy…
Prof. Michaels:
You know what, my dignified apostles of enlightenment?
Dr. Douglas & Prof. Aletor:
What, Prof.?
Prof. Michaels:
I wish God could really answer our accusations, and clear His name once for all
Dr. Douglas:
But He won’t because He’s a coward. No, He’s not. He can’t even be a coward because
He doesn’t exist!
Prof. Aletor:
Well, gentlemen, we can’t question who we cannot see. But if what they say is true, then one day we
shall see God. That will be the day of reckoning—I mean, questioning. So let us
save all our God questions for that day. As of today, right now, I think
another round is in order, or what do you both think?
Dr. Douglas:
I think I’m going to engage Prof. Leigh, the Catholic Priest, in a public
debate on these issues very soon, that’s what I drink.
Prof. Aletor:
That’s what you think.
Dr. Douglas:
Yes, Prof, that’s what I said.
Prof. Michaels:
I like the idea of a debate- but meanwhile, gentlemen here are the sweaty
bottles. What do you say; we take off their thinking caps and open our drinking
tanks, eh?
(laughter)
TO BE CONTINUED
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