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Here
we go again!
Today,
we attempt to penetrate one of the biggest fears most of us single Christian
folks entertain regarding marriage.
Truth be told, although we (Christians) all know that getting freaky with anyone other than
our spouse is actually wrong in the sight of God (the Catholic Church actually considers
it a ‘mortal sin’), most of us still do it, often because we simply yield to
our ever-willing-to-stray bodies, rather than our God-seeking spirits. While this
is often the reason why we sometimes let ourselves go in that department, it is
not the only reason.
I
have some friends, sisters, who have told me that they simply cannot get
married to a guy they haven’t tried out in bed. Why? Because it is a risk!
Stories abound of faithful Christian couples who made it to the aisle without doing it, only for the new bride to
discover that her husband either could not get it up, or did not know the first
thing about making her happy in the
sack (and even worse, didn't consider such
things as really important).
Emerging
generations of soon-to-be brides hear stories like this, and decide to be wise. They elect to test-run the product
before committing to it, if you know what I mean?
And this explains why several
sisters (and brothers too) wake up on Sunday morning fresh from a very raunchy
Saturday night, and head off straight to church, where they have to sing in the
choir, usher the brethren or even preach to them. Trust me, I know.
So What Do I Think?
I
imagine that the last thing such a bride who now feels trapped in a marriage of
agonizing sexual frustration wants to hear is a sermon, so I’m going to try not
to preach. But the way I see it, Christianity is a way of life, and being a
Christian is a commitment to live according to certain guidelines which we sign
up for when we consciously choose Christ. It’s pretty much similar to signing
up for the army, or signing up on Twitter, Linked In and the rest, or generally
agreeing to terms and conditions which we regularly do in our daily
transactions and associations.
Every
religion, movement, society or organization has its rules and regulations, and it’s
my guess that we Christians are the most undisciplined committers, either breaking
rules on a whim or selecting which to obey and which to ignore.
Just
as when one signs up for the army, there are real risks and sacrifices, so it is
when we sign up as Christians. There are risks too. We sometimes encounter problems
even right in the path of obedience to God, and I’m talking about real, painful,
sometimes devastating problems as felt by our hypothetical bride, for instance.
As
I wind up, let me say that I know there are sisters who tested the sexual
competence and compatibility of their man before marriage and are very happy
they did, either because they walked into it fully aware of what lay in store
for them, sexually speaking, or because they were able to back off the
relationship before committing to a marriage ‘for better or worse’.
There
are also those who are presently very sexually frustrated in their marriages,
because the ‘tested and proven’ man they married became something else down the
road.
Lastly,
there are those who faithfully delayed sex till after marriage, who are
currently very happy and fulfilled, sexually and otherwise, in their marriage.
The choice really is yours to make, and the consequences, physical and
spiritual, are also yours to face.
A Word To The Brothers
A
lot of sisters are suffering today, because the fiancé they thought self-controlled
and spiritual (a rarity among men ), turned out to be a deceiver with a lot
of secrets.
Let
us open up to our partners. Let us be truthful about our sexual histories and
challenges, if any. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and it is wicked to
intentionally lead a sister into a life sentence of sexual frustration, without
her conscious consent.
On
that note, I retire my ‘pen’…for now. Thanks for reading this. God keep us.
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