“Pre-Marital Sexual Abstinence is a Big Risk!” The Cry of the Sisters

                                           

Here we go again!

Today, we attempt to penetrate one of the biggest fears most of us single Christian folks entertain regarding marriage. 

Truth be told, although we (Christians) all know that getting freaky with anyone other than our spouse is actually wrong in the sight of God (the Catholic Church actually considers it a ‘mortal sin’), most of us still do it, often because we simply yield to our ever-willing-to-stray bodies, rather than our God-seeking spirits. While this is often the reason why we sometimes let ourselves go in that department, it is not the only reason.

                                    

I have some friends, sisters, who have told me that they simply cannot get married to a guy they haven’t tried out in bed. Why? Because it is a risk! Stories abound of faithful Christian couples who made it to the aisle without doing it, only for the new bride to discover that her husband either could not get it up, or did not know the first thing about making her happy in the sack (and even worse, didn't consider such things as really important). 

Emerging generations of soon-to-be brides hear stories like this, and decide to be wise. They elect to test-run the product before committing to it, if you know what I mean? 

                                       

And this explains why several sisters (and brothers too) wake up on Sunday morning fresh from a very raunchy Saturday night, and head off straight to church, where they have to sing in the choir, usher the brethren or even preach to them. Trust me, I know.

So What Do I Think?

I imagine that the last thing such a bride who now feels trapped in a marriage of agonizing sexual frustration wants to hear is a sermon, so I’m going to try not to preach. But the way I see it, Christianity is a way of life, and being a Christian is a commitment to live according to certain guidelines which we sign up for when we consciously choose Christ. It’s pretty much similar to signing up for the army, or signing up on Twitter, Linked In and the rest, or generally agreeing to terms and conditions which we regularly do in our daily transactions and associations.

                                        

Every religion, movement, society or organization has its rules and regulations, and it’s my guess that we Christians are the most undisciplined committers, either breaking rules on a whim or selecting which to obey and which to ignore.

                             

Just as when one signs up for the army, there are real risks and sacrifices, so it is when we sign up as Christians. There are risks too. We sometimes encounter problems even right in the path of obedience to God, and I’m talking about real, painful, sometimes devastating problems as felt by our hypothetical bride, for instance.

As I wind up, let me say that I know there are sisters who tested the sexual competence and compatibility of their man before marriage and are very happy they did, either because they walked into it fully aware of what lay in store for them, sexually speaking, or because they were able to back off the relationship before committing to a marriage ‘for better or worse’.

There are also those who are presently very sexually frustrated in their marriages, because the ‘tested and proven’ man they married became something else down the road.

Lastly, there are those who faithfully delayed sex till after marriage, who are currently very happy and fulfilled, sexually and otherwise, in their marriage. The choice really is yours to make, and the consequences, physical and spiritual, are also yours to face.

A Word To The Brothers

A lot of sisters are suffering today, because the fiancé they thought self-controlled and spiritual (a rarity among men ), turned out to be a deceiver with a lot of secrets.

Let us open up to our partners. Let us be truthful about our sexual histories and challenges, if any. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and it is wicked to intentionally lead a sister into a life sentence of sexual frustration, without her conscious consent.

On that note, I retire my ‘pen’…for now. Thanks for reading this. God keep us.

  

FOUR REASONS WHY I KNOW THERE IS A GOD

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.” Verbal, in The Usual Suspects.

The world today is a very pragmatic place thriving on cutting edge technology and the powers inherent in the mind of man. In the West, the idea of God and the beliefs of the Western fathers have been ‘found’ to be anachronistic and antediluvian and consequently jettisoned. Religion, particularly mainstream Christianity, is now considered an enemy of human freedom and expression, a repressing and depressing institution, worthy of nothing but abandonment.

For almost two centuries there has been a flare of philosophies and schools of thought transmitting to us the viewpoint that for humankind to be free to fully express our innate creativity, we must jettison all idea of God and archaic religion. In the place of a God in heaven, if we must worship or revere something, then it should be humanity and our progress, or better still, nature and the universe. Formal atheism is thus the recommended way to go, as well as humanism and naturalism in their various expressions.

Atheism, however, is not without basis. The problem of evil is one reason why many conclude there cannot be a God. I mean, what kind of God permits Holocausts, September 9-11’s, and other monumental historical and personal tragedies and evils? Therefore, there cannot be a God, unless He is a callous brute, according to the atheist. Conflicting claims of world religions, the moral imperfections of religious people, including the historical evils perpetrated by the Corporate Church and Mosque against themselves and adherents of other faiths, all constitute other reasons for atheism, or at best, agnosticism.

My intention here is not to present arguments which defend God’s permission of evil in the world, because I am certain I have no argument, free of theology, which can convince the average atheist. It is equally not my intention to defend the moral and other flaws of theists like myself, both in history and to date, as admittedly there have been actions which only require apologies and not arguments.

 All I want to do here is state, from my personal musings, observations, and experiences, that in spite of whatever reasons there might be for doubting the reality of God, there really is a God. And I will here present just four simple reasons how I know this:

i.                    The Natural Dependency of Human Beings

Regardless of our praiseworthy innovations and attempts to be independent, we find that we can never be completely self-sufficient, whether as individuals or nations. Take a simple illustration, I have eyes, you have eyes, and eyes are meant for seeing, yet your eyes cannot see your face neither can mine, except by the aid of a mirror or somebody else. We all have the responsibility of catering for, and defending the parts of our bodies, but who amongst us can see their backs, let alone watch it? I need you to watch my back, you need me to watch yours…but to my mind, it cannot end there, there has to be someone who can watch my back when nobody’s around to do so (and even when there are others around). And I reckon that someone must be God.

This dependency is not a coincidence in design, it is meant to teach us that we were wired to live in community both with each other and with divine and spiritual otherness.

ii.                  We all exercise faith in the unknown

Atheists and materialists would have us believe that it is senseless to have faith in God because He is intangible and beyond all sensory experience by which we derive knowledge. But tomorrow is an unknown because we have not experienced it yet. Tomorrow, in fact may never come, but yet we take the transition of days as a given, because it has always been so in all human experience that days happen and become weeks, which in turn become months, years, decades and so on. Therefore, we make commitments, plans and projections for the future. If this is not faith in an ‘unexperienced’, intangible unknown, tell me what it is.

This universality of faith which we all express, to my mind, is a pointer that there is something stable, certain and eternal, which we can take for granted, and believe in. And it can’t be the future, because many will not live to see the future they projected, thus the transition of days ceases for them. I reckon that this Being, certain and stable as well as eternal, on which we can repose our faith, is God.

iii.                The Mystical and Spiritual needs we all express

Even those who debunk the Christian God and religion have created new ‘gods’ for themselves. Some have deified nature and the universe; others deify humankind and the mind of man.

 Deny it or not, we must all believe in something. Like Susan, in the movie The Sessions, who claimed not to go to church or think about God very much but yet admits that she is a ‘spiritual type’ because she believes ‘there’s a mysterious logic or poetry to life.’ The way I see it, anything is okay to believe, as long as it is not called GOD or Christ, or whatever. That seems to be the thinking these days.

Is it any wonder then that most of the illustrious atheistic philosophers and scientists in history, and to the present moment, are listed as members of so-called social and philosophical societies and orders which in fact, have spiritual and mystical underpinnings? 

The mystical thirst and curiosity about divine otherness and the supernatural resides in all of us, unless we choose to live in denial like the ostrich.

iv.                My Personal Experiences.

Due to the subjectivity of personal experience, it is often difficult for others to accept and believe, in most cases. However, the one who has had the experience does not need any more convincing on the matter. Those who have had Out of Body Experiences (OOBE’s) do not need any other persuasion that we all indeed possess spirits distinct from, but within our bodies.

Suffice it to say that I have had very few, but memorable experiences that have nailed my belief in the reality of Christ most firmly into my heart.

In conclusion, I must re-iterate that the above are not watertight arguments to argue for the existence of God; they are not even arguments. They are merely my musings and observations which have been concretised by experiences, some personal, which have led me to believe not only in a living God and a living Christ (whom I worship), but also in a real Satan, real angels and demons, supernatural experiences and occurrences, and I recognize that it’s going to get ever increasingly dangerous to live without taking a side.

Either you recognize and serve the devil (there are Satanists all around), or you recognize and serve the Lord God Almighty. Find out the implications of either choice and choose one, because the days are fast approaching when neutrality may mean the end of you.

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We all need to use this ‘F’ word more often

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Lewis B. Smedes

Ever since the first time I heard the above quote used by one of my spiritual leaders at the pulpit one Sunday,  it has remained with me, often nudging me to do that which does not come naturally to me: forgive someone who has deeply hurt me, for my own good.

We all have been hurt—some, a little, others, badly, and yet some others have been hurt terribly. Is there somebody out there like me who has had memories of some wrong done to you, and suddenly your heart starts to beat a little faster, you involuntarily clench a fist as you imagine close to a dozen different ways the episode in mind could have ended, other than the way it actually happened, with each scenario somehow resulting in the other party or parties feeling some paaaain delivered by you?

Your ex-boyfriend played you like an old-school guitar and dumped you in such a callous manner that nothing short of emasculating him can make you happy, does that describe you? You thought your marriage was going to be together forever, but now, after some years as a divorceé, your heart has gone cold and virtually all your every waking moments are occupied with dreams and schemes of payback, as a matter of fact your favourite TV show is Revenge! Does that describe you?

Like I said, we have all been hurt in varying degrees. We have suffered slights and disregard, we have suffered shattering betrayals, we have suffered, and as long as we live, we will still be hurt and offended, and truth be told, knowingly or otherwise, we also have done and will still hurt and offend others too. So what should we do? We should open our hearts and arms to embrace the golden ‘F’ word: forgiveness.

They say nothing good comes easy. That’s one way we can know that forgiveness really is good, because we both know that whatever else it may be, it definitely is not easy! But we can do it. It begins with understanding. We have to know that bitterness and unforgiveness are lethal because they are capable of wreaking havoc in all three parts of us: our spirits, our souls and our bodies!  Some experts have posited that these two- bitterness and unforgiveness- are at the root of many ailments and diseases many folks suffer. Why don’t you go out there and read more on this so that you may understand why forgiveness helps you, even more than the other party.

If you are a spiritually inclined person, you must very well know that bitterness and unforgiveness are too costly for you, you can’t afford to indulge in them. We Christians understand that our prayers can’t be answered in such a state, and what are we really if our link to the divine is severed?

Come on, Partner, let that person go…come on. Let go, and let God. He can help you on your path of forgiveness and healing. And while we are still on this track, let me say that if you’re reading this, and I  have done you wrong before, one way or another, pleaaaase forgive me. Reach me and let’s talk about it, ok? 

Life on this side of eternity is too short for us to keep clinging to resentment and bitterness, or don’t you think so? I know you do.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

"If we practice an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole
world will be blind and toothless."  Mahatma Gandhi

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Your spirit is you, so is your body too.

‘No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.’ Hebrews 12:11-12 (NIV)

Three days ago, on Sunday, I read an article in The Vanguard  advocating a late breakfast (like 12 noon), and closing the meal window at 8 pm. That was not the first time I had read about stuff like that, but it sure was the first time I was open to act on it. Having recently realized that keeping my belly trim has become an increasingly more herculean task than it was some years ago in spite of my almost daily crunches , aerobics and the like, I decided to advise myself and check my diet…

It is my observation that the more spiritual folks, especially Christians, belittle the necessity of bodily exercise and nurture. They often quote the Pauline line ‘bodily exercise profiteth little’ and dismiss the idea and the ‘little’ altogether. Compared to the eons of years ahead of us, the seven or so decades we have to live this present life may aptly be called ‘little’, but why not take Brother Paul’s advice and make the most of our little time here which we cannot efficiently do without fit and healthy bodies? Of course, good health is a gift from God but it is our responsibility to maintain and enhance it. This is where exercise comes in.

There are major benefits to exercise, like a general state of well-being and the likelihood of longevity. While these alone are incredible incentives, the fringe benefits are equally stirring. You may never have heard them stated like this before:

                     6 Fringe Benefits of Fitness-Consciousness and Exercise

i.                    If you will be efficient, and eventually successful, in your calling in life, a fit and healthy body is more than just a boost. It is key.

ii.                  Only God judges people by their heart’s condition, we humans, by default, judge each other by appearances. Imagine what that can do for your business, ministry, or whatever. People will respect you and take you more seriously.

iii.                Your clothes fit better

iv.                Boosts your self-esteem

v.                  Keeps you young for long

vi.                Last, but certainly not least, it makes you a husband/wife worth having.

We cannot deny that sex is a very crucial part of marriage. No matter the ideas you have in your head on how to please your spouse, without a fit body you cannot efficiently make it happen. I need not tell you that an unsatisfied spouse is an unloving one.

God is not averse to fitness. I can imagine that the man, Jesus, a carpenter, couldn't have been out of shape. Spirituality should never be an excuse for physical shabbiness (or mental indolence).

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Someone who's discovered a foolproof method of how not to die... 

I'm awake now. I opened my eyes from slumber land at about 4.00am this morning and got ready to face the day the way I know how. It is such a simple thing to sleep and wake up anytime one wishes to, isn't it?  After all, I've been doing it for over three decades and you may have been doing it light years longer than I?

But, there's a niggling bother. Somebody somewhere died in their sleep last night (mind you, they did not plan for that to happen) and they have forever exited our planet. But there you are and here I am. What device did we put in place that ENSURED we awoke this day? Ninguno. Oh, forgive my Spanish, I meant to say 'none!'

You and I have absolutely no power or control over some of the simplest and most ordinary actions of our existence. We sleep and wake up, but we may have not. We go out and return, but we may have not. Legend has it that Adolf Hitler told his lady, Eva to wake him when the war was over, and went on to take a nap which he never woke up from.

My point is, to my mind there must be someone who ensures that these simple things that we have become so accustomed to, keep on happening. Like day and night, seedtime and harvest, winter and summer...sleeping and waking, amongst other things. And I choose to believe that that someone is God.

Is that not the most probable reason why, in spite of how badly we may want to, nobody has an antidote for death, something like a foolproof method that ensures we don't die. We have to depend on Someone who's got it: God. Or what do you think? 

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A Prayer for Boston

Lord, God, the Most High, the President of Presidents, the Boss of bosses. You to whom the world belongs and all that dwell in it. I know You see what has happened over there in Boston, America. Three people are reported dead, Lord, and almost one hundred and eighty people are gravely wounded (some have already had limbs amputated). People are mourning, families panic in bereavement, hurt beyond words. I ask, O Lord that you extend your mercy and let your healing balm soothe the injured. Only You can comfort the bereaved; I ask that You do so, dear Lord. Lord, I really don't have the right words to say but I ask, Father that you heal, comfort, provide, not just in Boston but far away in Iran where there's been an earthquake, Lord, for You made all of humankind. May the perpetrators of the Boston terror be brought to Your justice, O Lord. And let it not tarry. Let Your will be done right there and everywhere. Thank You for You who made the ears, You certainly hear. Hear us, Lord and let the world see Your answers. Thank You, O God of heaven and earth.
 I pray in the name of Jesus.

Though We walk Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death....

At this moment, the world is agog with hysteria and anguish over yesterday's unleashing of the terror of man on the city of Boston, Massachusetts. The dead, we hear, presently number three (including an eight-year old), while the gravely injured are piling...

Over in the East, there has been a terror of nature today, 16th April,  as an earthquake with magnitude 7.8 occurred near Zahedan in Iran. We hear the tremors were so serious the grounds and buildings far away in neighboring Pakistan and New Delhi in India trembled helplessly...

What can we say? No words are adequate enough to console the bereaved or ease the deep agony of the dismembered and wounded. My prayers are with them all, in Boston and America; may the righteous judgments of the ever-present God not only see them through this agonizing period, but also grant them justice and understanding in the midst of tragedy so confusing.

Do spiritual experiences mean anything?

"He knows the water best who has waded through it" Danish Proverb.

They say the taste of the pudding is in the eating, so right now I'm wondering, what do you believe? What do you think about our human existence here on earth? Do you by any chance think that the events in this world, and in our personal lives are influenced by extraterrestrial beings like God, for instance, or sata?. Do you believe there are really angels and demons? And if you do, do you think their activities have any bearing on our lives- I mean, on your and my everyday existence?

Tonight, I really need you to do the sharing. There are sane, everyday people out there who claim to have had divine encounters, there are those who have had other mystical and supernatural firsthand experiences which they have never forgotten. Yes, they may not be so sure about the factor or force behind their experience and some may not fully understand the details of what they experienced, but one thing these individuals are sure about is THEY EXPERIENCED WHAT THEY EXPERIENCED. Therefore, they know there's more out there than Jack, Jill and the rest of us.

Are you such a person? Can you share your experience? Can you teach us? For WE WANT TO KNOW. Why don't you leave a comment and educate the world?