Spiritual Benefits of Pre-Marital Sexual Abstinence

If a survey were to be carried out to discover the most thought-about and talked-about thing in the world, we may find that it is ‘sex’, closely trailed by ‘money’. You do not need to possess an uncanny sense of perceptiveness to see that our planet is sexually ultra-charged, and NO ONE is immune from this pervasive influence which has been deftly forged, exaggerated and enhanced by the global media. To all intents and purposes, sex rules our planet and it may very well be the biggest motivation for industry and the drive for success.

Therefore, sexual chastity has become an anachronism, and in the event that it is seriously mentioned or suggested, the ensuing response is most likely scorn and derision. Virgins are considered almost abnormal in our world today; a species on the verge of extinction. Abstinence makes no sense. And celibacy? That’s simply crazy…in our world today. That’s pretty much like advertising grinding stones and analogue phones .

I remember Doris, a decent and beautiful fifteen-year-old S.S. 3 (12^th grade) student in 2011, who, when our English lesson digressed a bit, told the class that she couldn't marry a virgin. For her, she didn't mind being a virgin, but the thought of her future man also being one was simply unwelcome. Of course, her reasoning was: a virgin husband would make an inept lover, the thought of which she couldn't brook.

So where am I going with this? Is sex to be proscribed and blacklisted?  Is everyone supposed to lead a celibate life? Of course not! Let me expressly say that sex is one of the most sublime pleasures there is, and this is the primary reason why it has got us in a wad.  I speak from the standpoint of a young Christian man, who has lived the sexually active, then the celibate, and more recently the life of unfulfilled and frustrating sexual activities.

From the perspective of a Christian mystic, I daresay that the gravest consequence of sustained sexual activity outside of marriage is isolation from God leading to an erosion of spiritual authority. In other words, the selfish indulgence of this pleasure truly makes us estranged from God, whose Spirit is our source, our force and power, thus leaving us spiritually open and vulnerable to the whims and caprices of all sorts of contrary forces before whom, we are by ourselves helpless.

This may explain why the most powerful mystics and spiritualists, whether in African Traditional Religion, Buddhism or Hinduism, subject their sexuality to some principled regulation and containment. Sex is a spiritual binder, knitting two souls together and this is the primary reason why God, who ordained sex, has urged us to enjoy it in the context of marriage alone.

Admittedly, as with every worthwhile venture, this can be difficult. But sexual abstinence or temporary celibacy remains a life-giving seed whose fruits blossom on many levels; it is a melody that reverberates in many dimensions ranging from the mundane to the profound.

We have peace with God and in our spirits, we are confident in the exercise of our spiritual authority through Christ, and are covered with no openings for the intrusion of capricious spiritual forces. By extension, an exercise of discipline in this difficult area will translate to other soulish and mental disciplines that may benefit us in other temporal areas of our lives Let us therefore go to God in prayer and ask for the strength to live above our often-illicit sensual desires and we shall be the better for it. We were made to be whole in body, spirit and soul.

Keeping It Together: Live out of your spirit

Craig was a fun-loving young man who, at forty three, looked a lot better than many men ten years younger. Urbane, smart and handsome with an intense love for life, it therefore came as a brutal shock to all when he was found lifeless in his hotel room. He had mixed a lethal substance with his whisky and downed the blend to end his life. Why? He was a very creative and successful designer with globally famous clients. So it was in order to ask ‘why?’ Investigators found out a few weeks later that Craig had lost a staggering amount of money in an investment gone sour and he evidently couldn’t bear it.

How about Cindy who ended her life after she found out that her fiancé was in love with another man? Or quiet Ted who was found dead in a high school restroom because he had taken his life over the rejection of his peers? Stories like these are no longer far removed from us. According to the American Association of Suicidology, over 816,000 suicide attempts are made annually. A 2005 statistics revealed that suicide was the eleventh leading cause of adult deaths in the United States; ranking higher than homicide which was 15^th. Sadly, more Americans kill themselves than are killed by other people.

But of course this is not just an American phenomenon. These days, suicides are occurring all around us: a neighbour, a colleague, someone you often saw at the local store, a former classmate…all of which begs the question ‘why them and not you?’ Are there really any events and circumstances that could land on you with an effect like the sky itself had fallen on you alone? I think the answer is ‘yes’.  Can such events hit you so badly that you consider it far more pleasant to die than live with them? Coming from one who, at a certain period in my life, often prayed to die, I’d again answer in the affirmative. Yes they can.

So it becomes evident if you really think about it, that people who have taken their lives over things they felt they couldn’t bear are often not weaker emotionally or physically, than the rest of us. Yes, it’s true that it’s sometimes easier to die than to live, so we consider suicide the coward’s way, and deem ourselves brave for choosing life. But the truth is, some of us alive today who have contemplated suicide in the past didn’t complete it only because we were simply timid. It takes guts to take a life; even one’s own life.

I said before that I had prayed to die a couple of times in the past; so why do I yet draw breath?  The answer is this: though I was deeply frustrated owing to my acute social and economic incapacitation, I lived out of my spirit and I was sustained.

What in the world am I talking about? I’ll explain.  I understand that this physical realm of existence is controlled and organized from a more crucial spiritual one -whether one believes this or not will not change the reality of it, it will only leave the skeptic clueless and helpless when reality hits, as it very often does.

Understanding this reality and knowing that in spite of my unfavorable physical circumstances there was a real God who cared about me and to whom I had entrusted my life, a real God who had come through for me on several occasions in the past, what I did was tell Him how terrible I felt, and how I knew He had the ability to change my situation in the blink of an eye if He wanted to. The situation didn’t change instantly despite my tears and prayers. Of course I felt like dying but –this is very important- I understood that my life was not just mine to take so I prayed to the One who had my life. There is a difference between contemplating suicide, and praying to die. While the source of the feelings is one and the same, the responses are different. One is a natural response to the natural, while the other is a spiritual response to the natural; one that can only issue from theism and faith.

Though a Christian, I realize that virtually all religions believe in the principles I have just shared. That this life is ordered and re-ordered from spiritual realms and that true strength and fortitude do not come from the hurting and suffering body; but from the inner man. The spirit within.  Thus, a victorious life is that which is lived out of a spirit connected to the Spirit of God. Life is too complex to be lived in spiritual loneliness and emptiness. Faith is not a weakness but a strength.